You've worked hard to be the perfect host, serve delicious food and make your guests feel comfortable in your home. But what if your guests are too comfortable, and are staying later than you'd like? How to handle guests who won't leave is something for which all hosts should be prepared.
Openly asking your guests to leave your home may be considered rude. And rude behavior by a host is worse than rude behavior by a late-staying guest.
How to get guests to leave without being offensive or breaking any hosting etiquette rules can be done. Here are six surefire ways to get guests to leave your home when they’ve overstayed their welcome.
1. Stop offering your late guests food and drink.
When their wine glass sits empty and the chips and dip are not replenished, guests should soon get the hint that the evening is coming to a close.
Your instinct may be to offer your guests more food or beverage, but if you want them to leave, resist your kind intuitions.
2. Get a phone call.
When the evening drags on too long, excuse yourself to another room and make a quiet phone call to a close friend. Ask him or her to call you back in a few minutes. When the phone rings, answer it and say, “I have company now, but I can call you back in about five minutes.” That will tell your late-night guests that it’s time for them to leave so you can have your phone conversation.
3. Let silence reign.
Silences can be awkward. Long, uncomfortable gaps in conversation can be avoided by the host initiating stimulating discussions – unless, that is, you want the evening to be over.
When the conversation isn’t flowing well, guests sometimes will take the hint and find an opening to say, “Well, we should be going . . .”
If you’ve been playing music all night, let the CD player go unattended when you want your guests to leave.
4. Play good cop, bad cop.
Good-cop, bad-cop requires two hosts. A spouse or partner can not only help you make dinner, serve appetizers and clean up after a get-together, he can also help get rid of those pesky late guests.
Here’s an example:
Good cop: “Let’s open up another bottle of wine!”
Bad cop: “Oh, I don’t know. It’s getting pretty late and I have that thing tomorrow. We probably won’t be sitting here too much longer.”
Because you’re telling your co-host that it’s getting late – and not saying it directly to your guests – it has a more polite and socially acceptable tone. You’re not being rude to your guests; you’re just reigning in your spouse!
5. Blame the guest.
This is an old stand-by from the 1960s etiquette books: The host turns to his or her spouse and says, “We need to let these poor people get home! We’ve kept them here long enough!”
6. Start cleaning up
A sure sign that the evening is over is the sound of water running in the kitchen and plates clanging and clattering as they’re loaded into the dishwasher.
If you have a co-host, one of you may begin cleaning up while the other host sits politely in the living room with the guests. If guests offer to help clean up, respond by saying, “Oh, no thank you. We wouldn’t dream of keeping you here any longer.”
More on the Web
Looking for more politically correct ways to tell your guests to get lost?
Miss Manners advises that if all of your subtle hints go unnoticed by guests who won’t leave, just say goodbye to them. “You stand up, approach them, and say, ‘It was wonderful having you here. We must do this soon again.’ If you remain standing in front of them, Miss Manners promises that they will arise, too, and then you can slowly walk toward the door.”
iVillage’s Garden Web has some amusing and useful suggestions for getting guests to leave on its Discussion Board. Included suggestions range from putting on your pajamas, re-entering the room and announcing that you’re going to bed, to playing fingernails-on-a-chalkboard music.
Essortment has some witty suggestions for conversations that are sure to turn off your guests.
Openly asking your guests to leave your home may be considered rude. And rude behavior by a host is worse than rude behavior by a late-staying guest.
How to get guests to leave without being offensive or breaking any hosting etiquette rules can be done. Here are six surefire ways to get guests to leave your home when they’ve overstayed their welcome.
1. Stop offering your late guests food and drink.
When their wine glass sits empty and the chips and dip are not replenished, guests should soon get the hint that the evening is coming to a close.
Your instinct may be to offer your guests more food or beverage, but if you want them to leave, resist your kind intuitions.
2. Get a phone call.
When the evening drags on too long, excuse yourself to another room and make a quiet phone call to a close friend. Ask him or her to call you back in a few minutes. When the phone rings, answer it and say, “I have company now, but I can call you back in about five minutes.” That will tell your late-night guests that it’s time for them to leave so you can have your phone conversation.
3. Let silence reign.
Silences can be awkward. Long, uncomfortable gaps in conversation can be avoided by the host initiating stimulating discussions – unless, that is, you want the evening to be over.
When the conversation isn’t flowing well, guests sometimes will take the hint and find an opening to say, “Well, we should be going . . .”
If you’ve been playing music all night, let the CD player go unattended when you want your guests to leave.
4. Play good cop, bad cop.
Good-cop, bad-cop requires two hosts. A spouse or partner can not only help you make dinner, serve appetizers and clean up after a get-together, he can also help get rid of those pesky late guests.
Here’s an example:
Good cop: “Let’s open up another bottle of wine!”
Bad cop: “Oh, I don’t know. It’s getting pretty late and I have that thing tomorrow. We probably won’t be sitting here too much longer.”
Because you’re telling your co-host that it’s getting late – and not saying it directly to your guests – it has a more polite and socially acceptable tone. You’re not being rude to your guests; you’re just reigning in your spouse!
5. Blame the guest.
This is an old stand-by from the 1960s etiquette books: The host turns to his or her spouse and says, “We need to let these poor people get home! We’ve kept them here long enough!”
6. Start cleaning up
A sure sign that the evening is over is the sound of water running in the kitchen and plates clanging and clattering as they’re loaded into the dishwasher.
If you have a co-host, one of you may begin cleaning up while the other host sits politely in the living room with the guests. If guests offer to help clean up, respond by saying, “Oh, no thank you. We wouldn’t dream of keeping you here any longer.”
More on the Web
Looking for more politically correct ways to tell your guests to get lost?
Miss Manners advises that if all of your subtle hints go unnoticed by guests who won’t leave, just say goodbye to them. “You stand up, approach them, and say, ‘It was wonderful having you here. We must do this soon again.’ If you remain standing in front of them, Miss Manners promises that they will arise, too, and then you can slowly walk toward the door.”
iVillage’s Garden Web has some amusing and useful suggestions for getting guests to leave on its Discussion Board. Included suggestions range from putting on your pajamas, re-entering the room and announcing that you’re going to bed, to playing fingernails-on-a-chalkboard music.
Essortment has some witty suggestions for conversations that are sure to turn off your guests.
I think no.5 would be the best, but persistent guest should be dealt with no. 4 and 6...
