First, former actor Ronald Reagan was elected President. Then bodybuilding champion Arnold Schwarzenegger became governor of California. Yup, the great thing about America is that ANYONE can have a voice in how the country is run. So, it shouldn’t really come as any surprise that Linda McMahon, the chief executive officer of the World Wrestling Entertainment Inc. (WWE), is considering running for Senate in her home state of Connecticut.
McMahon, a Republican, is aiming to unseat Democrat Christopher Dodd in the upcoming 2010 election. Can someone say “SMACKDOWN”?
Let’s try to list McMahon’s credentials for the position, shall we?
- As the CEO of the WWE since 1997, she is the “brains” behind the business
- MacMahon is well-known for having very deep pockets and is a familiar face on Wall Street
- She has been actively trying to register young voters through WWE’s “SmackDown Your Vote” campaign
- McMahon was recently appointed to the Connecticut State Board of Education by Gov. Jodi Rell
- She and her husband, the flamboyant Vince McMahon, have been actively attempting to make the WWE more family-friendly. After all, a family that likes to throw each other around a ring stays together.
Well, if McMahon got elected and needed to call in some backup, we know that she has a very “strong” political support system. If she really meant business, McMahon might even call in Jesse “The Body” Venutra, former wrestler and ex-governor of Minnesota, to help her out in office. Former wrestler/actor Hulk Hogan isn’t doing much these days besides engage in a bitter divorce battle, so he might be a good candidate to muscle those pesky special interest groups around.
To be honest, McMahon’s qualifications aren’t much better than the Arnold’s were before he announced his candidacy on late night TV. Prior to running for governor, Schwarzenegger’s only political views were that “men shouldn't feel like f*ggots just because they want to have nice-looking bodies.” The best speechwriter in Washington couldn’t have written a better line!
Let’s get back to the root of the matter: we want more celebrity humanitarians and less celebrity politicians. As a movie-star-turned-Mother-Theresa, Angelina Jolie is doing fabulous work as a Goodwill Ambassador, using her status a superstar to gain awareness about the plight of refugees in Tanzania, Namibia, Cambodia, Pakistan, Thailand, and Ecuador. She has personally donated millions of dollars to further her humanitarian causes.
However, we do NOT want ignorant pop stars like Mariah Carey coming out with statements like these: “whenever I watch TV and see those poor, starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean, I would love to be that skinny, but not with all those flies and death and stuff.” We feel your pain, Mariah, we really do. Not only was this statement completely unhelpful to those poor starving kids, but she also managed to perpetuate our collective obsession with having a perfect body. A job well done, indeed.
We should probably just stop groaning and accept the fact that having a celebrity in a high political office is just an inevitable fact of life. Here’s who we’d endorse if they decided to get involved:
- “Stone Cold” Steve Austin – Steve is the “Joe the Plumber” of the wrestling world. His blue-collar wrestling persona has endeared him to thousands of WWE fans in the Midwest. If Sarah Palin could similarly attract American voters with her “just another average gal” appeal, we want Stone Cold to be the next mayor of Austin, Texas!
- James EARL Jones – have you ever heard someone say “oh, I just HATE that James EARL Jones!” Not only is he a likeable guy, but we bet he’d break out the Darth Vader voice on the campaign trail.
- Ellen DeGeneres – Ellen is well on her way to establishing herself as a strong political contender. Recently appointed the next “American Idol” judge, we are confident that she has what it takes to make tough choices.
- Tom Cruise – come on, it would be funny. We even bet Tom Cruise would be able to stop the wide-spread corruption in the state of New Jersey by converting the mayor of Hoboken to Scientology. Scientologists are less corrupt than NJ officials, right?
Back in the day, elected officials were the most educated people in the nation. Thomas Jefferson, for instance, had mastered about a dozen languages. Those days are long gone, as evidenced by the fact that George W. Bush could only speak broken Texan. It seems that fame and fortune speak louder than political sentiments ever could, and quite frankly, we’re okay with that…as long as loyal supporters get free tickets to the next WWE event.
