It’s not Thanksgiving yet, but I just want to express my extreme thanks and gratitude that I am not Michelle Duggar. The last time I checked, my uterus did not contain Miracle-Gro.
It was just last May when Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar of Tontitown, Arkansas broke the news that they were expecting their 18th child. Their hit TLC reality show used to be called “16 Children & Moving In!”, but that number just kept growing as the years went on. Jordyn-Grace Makiya, also known as lucky No. 18, was born to the “thrilled” couple back in December, but the Duggars announced just a few days ago that they are expecting yet another baby.
The story gets even more unbelievable when you do the math. So far, Mrs. Duggar has been preggers for 147 months of her life. When you include the next baby, aka No. 19, the number reaches a staggering 12 years. Women around the world have just one question for Michelle—why would you put yourself through 19 children’s worth of stretch marks?
The Duggars apparently view all their children as divine blessings. After their first child was born in 1988, Michelle had a miscarriage while on birth control. Michelle stopped using birth control, and the rest, as they say, is history. In addition to having 18 kids (and counting), the Duggars have received quite a bit of flack for their ultra-conservative beliefs. None of the eight daughters are permitted to do “male” activities like cutting their hair short, wearing pants, or attending college. The family follows the preachings of controversial pastor Bill Gothard, who states that children should not leave the home until they are married. Is it really a surprise to anyone that the Joshua James, the oldest Duggar child who has recently turned 21, is expecting his first child with wife Anna Keller?
Oh, and there’s apparently nothing strange about the fact that Michelle’s grandchild will be the same age as the future youngest member of the Duggar clan. In fact, Michelle stated rather defensively that “my sister and my mother were having babies at the same time, so I have nieces and nephews older than me. It was a great time because we really have close relationships with my nieces and nephews.” It’s a free country and all, but we really had to put our collective feet down when they named their sixth child “Jinger” (pronounced “Ginger”).
In addition to their reality TV show on TLC, Jim Bob, Michelle, and their merry band of children have also been featured on the Discovery Health Channel and the Learning Channel, which can officially put them in the same category as wildlife. What is it with our grotesque fascination these wacko families having a baseball team of kids? I personally blame Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt for starting the kiddie craze. Everyone knows that Nadya Suleman, aka the “Octomom”, worships everything about Jolie—from her oversized-lips down to her collection of children. And don’t get me started on the poor children that John and Kate Gosselin have managed to produce.
To the media: stop perpetuating this unhealthy fascination with multiple births. Now, I’m not a huge fan of eugenics, but if people like Jim Bob continue to procreate, we might have to start adapting China’s one-child policy.
