Forgiving the Forgetting

One of the hardest moments in my life was when my father forgot my name. Choking back tears, I introduced myself as “your son”. As a victim of Alzheimer’s disease, Dad had been slowly declining for a couple of years and had already lost much of his short-term memory (he couldn’t tell you what day of the week it was or what he had eaten for breakfast that morning). Dad was now losing his long-term memory of his own family.

This same heartbreaking day may come for you. Alzheimer’s disease (A.D.) is becoming increasingly prevalent in today’s society. Recent statistics report that approximately 4.5 million people in the United States suffer. The condition, a type of dementia, affects the human brain’s ability to remember. Individuals stricken also experience poor judgment, mood swings, behavioral differences and loss of physical abilities.

Pay close attention to when Dad misplaces his keys or when Mom overlooks turning the oven off. Repeated oversights such as these may well indicate the early stages of A.D. But getting your parent to admit the possibility of such a problem and then getting them to a doctor for assessment may be immensely difficult. Instead, suggest a medical check-up. Notify the doctor’s office prior to your visit of your concerns and let the partial diagnosis come from a trusted medical professional. While family physicians cannot completely diagnose A.D., they can refer to specialists for further testing. Currently, there is no cure for A.D., yet drugs including Aricept and Namenda can slow down the condition’s process.

There are three levels of the disease: mild, moderate and severe. In the early stages, a person will struggle to process and remember new information, yet still be able to physically function quite normally. At the moderate level, an A.D. victim will repeat stories, begin to listlessly wander and start to experience paranoia (be careful not to move that prized family heirloom or you may be accused of stealing it). At the latter stages, the person has difficulties walking and speaking and can fall prey to deadly diseases like pneumonia.

As a caregiver, be patient and supportive. Educate yourself about the disease. Apply for guardianship and/or trusteeship to handle your parent’s affairs. Trust the nursing staff in long-term care facilities to provide the necessary care. Take personal respite time – even a warm bubble bath or a coffee with a friend. Seek support through the Alzheimer’s Association in the United States (http://www.alz.org/) or the Alzheimer’s Society in Canada (http://www.alzheimer.ca/) for additional resource material. And although your loved one will imminently forget you, do not forget that your parent remains a person deserving respect and dignity.