An emotional affair is when a married person spends an inordinate amount of time with a member of the opposite sex who is not their spouse. Even though there is not physical intimacy in an emotional affair, many counselors would say these relationships can be just as damaging to your marriage as a physical infidelity. So what is so bad about an emotional affair? Let me count the ways…
Stolen Intimacy
An emotional affair is when a partner is putting all of his relationship energy into someone else of the opposite sex who isn’t the spouse. An emotional affair is also about intimacy. The partner is getting intimacy and companionship from someone who is not their spouse and many consider this an infidelity.
Keeping Secrets
The emotional adulterer keeps secrets from their spouse that they share with the object of their attention and affection.
Breach of Contract
Many would call the emotional affair a breach of the marital contract because it places a higher importance on the emotional affair than the marriage.
Missing Time
Cyber sex, obsessive flirting, texting, or constant emailing with someone who is not your spouse is considered an emotional affair. All of these activities can become addictive and unhealthy and can ultimately drain a marriage.
Slippery Slope
Some emotional affairs can turn into sexual affairs. The physicality combined with the emotional affair is an especially hard burden for the deceived spouse.
Betrayal and Distance
The emotional affair creates barriers between couples that make it difficult to trust or find security in the relationship. This loss of trust can create the wedge that drives two people apart.
Bad Example for Kids
If your kids are witness to the emotional affair, even peripherally, you are setting a bad example for your children about a healthy relationship between a man and a wife.
Who’s Your BFF?
Your spouse should be your best friend. If you have a different best friend, you may be having an emotional affair.
If you are having an emotional affair, consider the list above as reasons to break it off and return to your spouse for intimacy, love, and companionship. You may also consider professional therapy or couples counseling to re-establish intimacy and communication with your spouse.
