So, maybe you’ve been in a relationship for awhile, a few years. Maybe you’ve been married for 10 years. How do you know when and if it’s time to end your relationship, to break up or to get divorced?
Weigh and Measure the Relationship
This is easy enough. Write down the positive aspects of your relationship versus the negative aspects of your relationship. Are you getting more out of your relationship or are you losing ground with too many negatives? If your negative liability list is longer than your positive assets list you might seriously consider counseling or breaking off your relationship.
Counseling or Therapy
If you consider your relationship too precious to lose why not consider couples counseling? The trick here is that both parties need to be ready and willing to enter into psychotherapy or talk therapy for this solution to be effective. If one partner is being dragged into therapy and has no desire to change, this is an indicator that maybe it’s time to break up or to consider divorce.
Physical and/or Emotional Abuse
If your partner is abusing you emotionally or physically, it’s time to get out. Most abusers cannot change regardless of how much you may love and care about them. Cut your losses and get out of an abusive relationship as quickly as you can.
Same Argument Over and Over
If you and your partner have the same argument over and over without hope for resolution it’s probably time to call it quits. Some couples find that some issues can become wedges that drive them apart. If you try therapy for the issues to no avail, think about calling it quits and ending your relationship.
Fundamental Disagreements
If you and your partner have fundamentally different ideas about where you want to go and what you want to do in life you might consider ending your relationship. What are fundamental deal breakers? For example, you want kids but your partner doesn’t. You want to raise your kids in the church but your partner doesn’t. These are fundamental issues that have the power to make or break a relationship.
The bottom line is that life is too short to spend it with someone with whom you do not have a harmonious day to day life. Evaluate your relationship honestly and with an eye to the future when you are thinking of breaking up or getting a divorce.
