We have all known someone in a relationship that we would consider unhealthy and possibly abusive. Abusive relationships can be physical, verbal, emotional or all of the above. So if you work with someone, or know someone, or care about someone who may be in an abusive situation, what can you do to help them?
Be Subtle The typical victim of abuse is in deep denial about their relationship. If they are being hit or abused verbally or emotionally, this is a very painful secret that they cannot even admit to themselves. If the person you suspect is being abused is in your workplace you could suggest to your human resource office that they have a week or month where they call attention to domestic abuse. For example, the Domestic Violence Awareness Project has designated October as the month to call awareness to this worldwide epidemic.
Offer Support, Don’t Judge Be kind to the person whom you think may be a victim of abuse. Your acquaintance or family member probably needs a friend who will listen to them and to just be there for them. Don’t judge the person whom you think may be being abused. Many intelligent, assertive and unlikely people can get sucked into an unhealthy spiral of abuse that is not their fault.
Child Abuse If you suspect a child is being physically abused, it is only right to call in your suspicions to the proper authorities. Children are minors who are supposed to be loved and protected by adults, not abused by them.
Offer a Safe Haven While you may not want to offer your own home to a victim of domestic violence, you may recommend a shelter where they can seek asylum from their abuser. If a victim is being physically abused or stalked, they have legal rights to protect themselves by arresting for assault and/or obtaining a restraining order against their abuser. While it is most difficult for an abuse victim to turn in their abuser, it is worth reminding them that abusers should be reported so that they cannot continue to abuse others. Easier said than done.
Just Be There For many victims of abuse, the road to freedom may be long and painful. You may not be able to change your friend or their situation. While this can be quite frustrating, just continue to be there and to be their friend regardless of what they decide to do. In the meantime, encourage your friend to educate and inform themselves about their situation. Maybe someday they will have enough gumption and strength to break the cycle of abuse.
