In the Tibetan language, tonglen means sending out and receiving, and this is very much what is involved in the process of the Buddhist meditation technique known as tonglen. Very simply put the practitioner breathes in that which is bad and breathes out that which is good and yes, you did read that correctly. It may sound counter-productive at first but as you learn more about the practice of tonglen meditation, you will see how much sense it really makes.
Suffering in its many forms is part of life and very often people try to hide from the pain of suffering, to fend it off and to deny its existence. But in the tonglen practice, you connect with suffering by opening the heart and allowing it to feel other people's pain; in this way greater compassion is awakened. This form of meditation can also work to reduce selfish attachments, create more positive karma by giving to and helping others and also help you to develop bodhicitta. Breathing in, you allow in the feelings of suffering that occurs in life and breathing out, you breathe out compassion. When breathing in the pain of suffering, rather than bracing yourself against it, you can strengthen your sense of interdependence with all of life.
Tonglen meditation is commonly practiced by sitting quietly and comfortably. Centering and grounding is very important during this part in order to help bring the mind into a calm and focused state. While breathing gently and rythmically, you imagine the pain and suffering of others as a black, grimy smoke that you breathe in with each inhalation. You visualize the smoke being taken into the very core of your heart where it is dissolved and purified. The barriers of fear and ego are broken down as the heart is allowed to soften and embrace the pain. Then the purified "smoke" is exhaled with the outward breath to be sent out into the world as loving-kindness, peace and compassion.
Beginners to tonglen meditation can often find it difficult to do at first, for visualizing the pain of another person and breaking down those barriers of fear can be a daunting task. If you are new to this technique it may be best to first imagine sitting across from yourself during the in and out breathing and visualizing your own inner pain. Once you are comfortable with this you can gradually expand your consciousness to include friends, family members and eventually all sentient beings. If you are unsure about how you may react to tonglen it may be best to try it in a group setting with an instructor. Despite misinformation shared by some people, tonglen is not a potentially dangerous meditation. Perhaps the thought of embracing the pain of others may create this false perception, but as the Buddhist nun and writer Pema Chodron is quoted as saying, "In order to have compassion for others, we have to have compassion for ourselves." By allowing ourselves to feel the pain of others and by facing our own pain, in a calm and grounded way, we can purify that pain, send out loving-kindness to others and become more compassionate beings.
Good Medicine: How to Turn Pain into Compassion with Tonglen Meditation (Audio CD) by Pema Chodron.
The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying (book) by Sogyal Rinpoche
